Horny Housewife's Page

  I’ve never been a healthy eater.  Sometimes, it will be four o’clock in the afternoon and I’ll start to feel tired and dizzy and it will occur to me that I haven’t eaten all day.  So I eat, not because I feel hungry, but because I want to stop feeling tired and dizzy.  If I’m not [...]

Facebook Friend asked me the other day, in an alarmingly frank conversation: What is the difference between hedonism and self-nurturing?  I wonder about it at least once an hour.

Ants, everywhere.  All over the house.  Crawling.  Teeming.  Little tiny ant parts.  In the kitchen sink.  On the stove.  On the floor.  Endless.  Going on vacation this week with family.  Still need to pack for me and my son.  He is desperate for my attention, now that I am home from work again.  Can’t get a [...]

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the story of Pinocchio.  It was never one of my favorite fairy tales: no pretty clothes, no fancy balls, no handsome prince, no romance.  But it’s stuck in my head lately and I can’t get it out.  The basic plot points of the story of Pinocchio are these: Live as a marionette. Get a cricket for [...]

   This last sexual encounter with No-Nickname Mike was one of the best I’ve ever had in my life.  We spent an entire day together in a hotel room.  It was so good that I masturbate regularly to the memory of it.   Masturbating.  I’ve been doing that a lot.  Here is my favorite new fantasy: I walk into [...]

Stop me if you’ve heard this one: So Rene Descartes  (famous seventeenth-century philosopher who said “I think, therefore I am”) goes into a deli and sits down at the counter.  The waitress approaches.  “What’ll it be, Re?” she asks. “I’ll have a ham sandwich.”  Descartes says. Tapping her pencil on her order pad, the waitress asks, “You want mayo [...]

There is a page on this blog that is rarely visited.  Sometimes I think of that page as an old woman who sits alone in a rocking chair with a photo album on her lap.  She rocks and reads.  She laughs and cries.  She remembers problems solved and puzzles never completely put back together.  She [...]

Have you ever heard that a fruit tree, just before it dies, will suddenly bear a rich crop of fruit?  It’s as though on a cellular level, the tree understands that it will soon be no more, and so it produces an abundance of offspring so that at least its seed will go forth into [...]

  Very strangely, this CD holds the all-time record for longest amount of time in my car’s 6-disc CD changer.  This song, in particular, sounds better the louder you play it.  And for some reason, I’ve always really related to the woman he sings about here: It was still September When your daddy was quite surprised To find you with the [...]

I spoke with Morty on the phone again today.  This was telephone conversation number three.   I like him, and I’m not just saying that because he’s reading this.  Hands-down, without any doubt, I am having the very best cyber-sex with him that I have ever had with anyone.  He is at least as sick as [...]